Battle of the Bands
by raptoregg64
Summary: Junkyard Recordings has issued a competition to all high schools in the Junkyard district. Their students must form their owns bands, and compete to get to the very top! Misto has entered, but will he be able to get his band under control and win?
1. Chapter 1

**Hiyas peeps! Here's the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CATS, the Beatles, Lady Gaga, Janis Joplin, Billy Joel, Joan Baez, or Neutral Milk Hotel. Any other artists you may recognize… well, I don't own them, either.**

**~*~**

"Good morning, students," greeted Deuteronomy, the principal of High School of the Everlasting Cat, at their morning assembly.

"I have an announcement to make," he declared. "The producers at Junkyard Recordings would like to hold a competition between local schools. The schools' students will form several bands, and competitions will be held weekly until all but one band per school is eliminated from the competition. Once the schools have their representative bands, the bands will compete, once again repeating the elimination process until there is one band standing. That band will receive an optional recording contract and a ten-thousand dollar college scholarship." The eyes of the students widened. "I will pick two names out of a hat. Those people will be leaders of the first two bands, and anyone who doesn't make it into one of them can form their own band. All bands are required to have a vocalist, a lead guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer. Performances will be judged on musical talent, stage presence, and style. The judges for our school will be Jellylorum, Gus, and Bombalurina, respectively. Now for the leaders of the first two bands…" Jellylorum, the music teacher, brought forward a silk hat with the names of the students inside.

"Leader of Band One is…" Deuteronomy reached inside. "The Rum Tum Tugger!" There were a lot of claps from Tugger's friends. He seemed quite pleased with himself.

"Band Two's leader will be…" Once again, a name was drawn from the hat. "Mistoffelees!" There were some claps, but not as many as Tugger received. The principal handed them sheets for students to insert their names, email addresses, and what they were auditioning for.

During lunch, Mistoffelees looked at his sheet.

_Auditions and practice: 12:00 PM this Saturday, my house. Email me: Little Magician at for the address. I'll be lead or bass guitarist._

He checked it again once school was over, to see who had signed up.

_Jemima- drummer, vocalist, tambourine-player, violinist, Moonlight Dancer at . _He never would have thought of such a tiny cat banging away at the drums…

_Coricopat- rhythm guitarist, vocalist, sitar-player, Stormy In the Air at . _Coricopat played the sitar? He and his sister _were_ considered kind of weird…

_Tantomile- bassist, vocalist, pianist, Psychic Cat at . _Both of the mystic twins were auditioning, apparently.

_Electra- techie, Moog synthesizer player (if necessary) Electric Queen at . _What on earth was a Moog synthe-whatsit? Ah, well. A techie could be useful. Misto had no idea how to rig lighting and amplifiers and all that stuff…

He glanced back at the page. Nobody else had auditioned. Suspicious, Misto looked at Tugger's sheet.

_Etcetera- bass, Tuggers Girl at _

_Plato- drums, More Mysterious Than Mystics at _

_Victoria- vocalist, Snow White Queen at _

_Pouncival- lead guitar, Lots Of Pounces at … _It went on and on. A few Jellicles had tacked extra pieces of paper to the bottom so they could write their names.

Misto sighed. He was stuck with the only people who auditioned.

"_At least they're all good musicians… I hope."_

**~*~**

That Saturday, at twelve o'clock, a knock came on the door of Misto's house.

"I'll get it, Quax; it's probably one of the people I was telling you about." Quaxo, Mistoffelees' brother, went to a different school and so wasn't participating in the competition.

"Hi Misto!" Jemima waited outside the doorstep, an unfamiliar black van parked in the driveway.

"Hey Jemima, come on in," Misto greeted. He then gestured to the car. "I never really imagined you driving a car like that…" She shook her head in a no.

"I got a ride from the twins," she explained. "They're getting the instruments from the car."

"Oh… there wasn't any need to bring instruments; I've got some here."

"Well, you didn't state that in the sheet, and we agreed that it's better safe than sorry," Jemima teased. There was suddenly the unmistakable sound of a hi-hat clanging to the ground.

"YOW! Tanto, watch what you do with that thing!"

"You two better be careful with my drums, or I'll sue for compensatory… damage… money… things!" Jemima stormed off in the direction of the van to help carry instruments. Misto hurried after her, not wanting the small queen to be squashed under a bass drum.

"You're the one who insisted on bringing these things!" Coricopat snapped, flicking his bangs… head-fur… whatever you want to call it… out of his eyes.

Part of the reason the twins were generally avoided was because of the way that they dressed. Both were dressed in clothes that most people would call "pretty emo" but the twins stated were "completely punk. Okay, maybe a little emo. But _never, __**ever**_call us goth. We aren't goth."

"Y'know, I never thought that you'd play the sitar, Coricopat," Misto commented as the male twin dragged out the wooden instrument.

"Yeah, neither did I. But it's actually pretty cool," the tom said. "Some bands have used it in rock songs." Tantomile quickly checked the inside of the van.

"Okay, guys, that's everything." She turned to Misto. "Is anyone else auditioning?"

"Electra said that she could be our techie, or play a Moog synthesizer."

"Awesome," Tanto exclaimed. "I've always wanted to learn how to play the Moog. So… are we the only ones coming?"

"Pretty much," Misto admitted. "So you automatically get the parts. Now, we can already do some prep before Lecs gets here… let me think…" He made a mental checklist of the things they were being judged on while pacing back and forth.

"One: Music. We need a set list- we need to decide what we'll play. Two: Stage presence. We have to interact with the crowd, perform… we'll think about that later. Three: Style." He stopped pacing. "What'll we wear?" Jemima raised her hand.

"Pick me! Pick me!"

"Yes, Jemima?"

"I know this crafting store, and if I get your measurements and stuff, I can make us all outfits! I've made clothing before."

"I'm not wearing pink," Tantomile warned.

"Nah, pink's boring." Jemima thought about it for a moment. "It'll really depend on what type of music we want to do."

"I was thinking classic rock," Misto suggested. "Stuff from the 60's through the 80's." The twins stared at him.

"And they call _us _mind readers! We were thinking the same thing!" They looked at Jemima.

"Could we do some pop, too? To change it up a little?" she asked meekly.

"No Britney Spears," Coricopat stated. "She gives me the creeps."

"And _you_ creep everyone else out," a female voice stated.

"You've got me there, Lecs." Corico grinned at the dark tabby. "Nice of you to finally show up." Electra stuck her tongue out at him.

"Now that Electra is here, let's go inside and think of some songs to play," Misto proposed.

Once they had settled themselves in the living room, the five began discussing artists.

"Janis Joplin," was Tantomile's choice.

"Nah, Billy Joel all the way," Corico replied.

"You only like him 'cause you sound like him."

"You only like Joplin because you sound like her!"

"Guys, guys, cool it!" Misto commanded. "We can do some Joplin, and we can do some Joel. Happy?" The two nodded.

"Could we do some Lady Gaga?" Jemima asked. Misto nodded.

"Neutral Milk Hotel is a good band," Electra stated quietly.

"I've never heard of them," confessed the Conjuring Cat. "But I'll check them out. Personally, I think we should do some of John Lennon's songs."

"What about the other Beatles? Harrison was the best," Corico added.

"You're only saying that because he played the sitar."

"You just think that Paul's the best because he was the cutest."

"AHA!" Tantomile exclaimed. "I finally got you to admit your secret crush on Paul!"

"Guys! Focus!" They looked at him.

"Sorry, Misto," they mumbled. The tuxedoed tom sighed.

"We can do the other Beatles' songs, too. But _please, _try not to get distracted. We want those scholarships, right?" Everyone nodded.

"Good. So here's the plan…"

**~*~**

**There it is! This is the sort-of prologue (kinda long for a prologue, though…) And, if you're wondering, in my mind (and this story) they sound like these people when they sing:**

**Cori sounds like Billy Joel singing Shades of Gray.**

**Tanto sounds like Janis Joplin singing Me and Bobby McGee.**

**Jemima sounds like Lady Gaga singing Poker Face.**

**Misto sounds like John Lennon singing Across the Universe.**

**Electra sounds like… well, I'm not sure yet. I'm thinking Joan Baez when she sings Joe Hill.**

**Did you like it? Did you not like it? Review! Let me know! Speak now, or forever hold your peace!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh no! I just realized that I had accidentally uploaded the Ghost Whispers chapter by mistake! Please forgive me! So that's why everyone was so confused… oops. I changed my mind about what Jemmie and Lecs sound like in this. JEMIMA sounds like that Fleetwood Mac lady singing Rhiannon, and Electra sounds like Yvonne Elliman singing I Don't Know How to Love Him (from Jesus Christ Superstar.) Anyways… on to the best part of this whole thing- the disclaimer.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CATS or any of the songs in this fic, unless stated otherwise. (Yeah, I'm short on funny disclaimers.)**

**~*~**

"What is your great and brilliant plan, O Fearless Leader?" Coricopat questioned.

"Alright, so first we need a name for the band," Misto began. "I think we should do something in tribute to the Beatles. Jemima, any other suggestions?"

"I was thinking something like… 'Flower Power.' We're doing sixties stuff, right?"

"Yeah, I see what you mean. Tantomile, what do you suggest?"

"I'm confused."

"Erm… right. Electra?" She thought for a moment.

"If we wanted to have an indie band name, we could use four completely unrelated objects."

"That could work… Corico, what do you think?"

"I've had an epiphany!" the striped tom cried, leaping up from his seat.

"I don't think that means what you think it means," Misto stated. Coricopat ignored him.

"We can combine all of the suggestions… our name can be 'Confused Flower Beetle Epiphany!'" The other four thought about it for a moment.

"I kinda like it," Electra agreed. The other's consent was given, and Misto decided to tackle the next question.

"What should we play on Friday?" Their performance was in two weeks time. Misto thought it was a rather short time period, but they would have to cope.

"We should probably do something that we can all relate to," Jemima suggested. "Or something with… with some sort of story attached."

"Hey, do you guys remember when the district used to be one gigantic junkyard? Before they installed TV and stuff?" Coricopat inquired.

"Not really," Jemima admitted. "I was pretty young back then."

"Oh… right. Well, we could sing something about how everyone was feeling when this whole place got redone. I even know the perfect song!"

"Oh boy," Tantomile groaned, rolling her eyes. "Here we go again."

"Do you have it on JellicleTunes?" Misto questioned. Coricopat nodded excitedly, pulled out his iMeow, and flicked through the five-hundred or so songs he had downloaded. Once he found it, he turned up the volume and began playing the song.

As the quintet listened, they agreed that it was fitting for the story they had in mind. After running through it a couple of times, they had a discussion on what to wear.

"Something sort of shabby," Jemima suggested. "We don't want to look rich."

"Definitely shabby," Coricopat said. "But the song's kinda rebellious, so… what about torn jeans and t-shirts and stuff?"

"That could work," Misto stated. "Then again, the lyrics aren't really rebellious. We could wear black t-shirts and jeans- those look kinda defiant, but not _too_ bold."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," the twins replied. "Let's do this thing!"

**~*~**

"Sorry, Misto, but this table is for Rumpus Toms only." Mistoffelees blinked. As far as he could remember, he had _always_ sat by Tumblebrutus at lunch time, ever since they were kits.

"Rumpus Toms?"

"Yeah, the band I made. What's your band's name?" Tumble asked, smiling. "Who's in it?"

"We're, um, Confused Flower Beetle Epiphany," Misto mumbled, blushing. He suddenly felt like he should have thought of a better name. "Jemima's on drums, Tanto's on bass, Corico sings and plays rhythm guitar, and I'm lead guitarist." Tumble looked confused.

"You let Coricopat and Tantomile in? Why?"

"Yeah, and what's with the name? It's kinda weird. No offense," Pouncival added quickly.

"Just as weird as the twins," Plato muttered, snickering.

"Didn't your mama tell you that it's rude to talk behind people's backs?" and evilly-sweet voice said, its owner digging his claws into Plato's shoulder.

"Didn't _your _mama tell you that it's rude to threaten people?" Plato hissed. "Oh, wait; you don't have one!"

"That's going too far, Plato," Tumble snarled.

"Besides, it might not be such a good idea when my sister and I have our claws in your back," the voice growled, much more malicious than the first time.

"Corico, let him go," Misto commanded. "You too, Tanto. He's not worth your time." The twins reluctantly sheathed their claws.

"It's not like we were making him bleed or anything," Coricopat mumbled. "C'mon, sis, Misto's right. A wimp like Plato isn't worth it. If it was Tugger or something, then, yeah, a fight would be worth it, but…" He trailed off and walked back to his table. Tantomile sighed.

"Sometimes, bro, I think you're too violent for your own good…"

**~*~**

After long days of waiting and practicing, the day of the competition came. All of the bands had to get ready inside the gym. The judges had set up their tables on the far side of the room, and the stage was designated by red taping. The Jellicles who weren't in the competition viewed from the bleachers, as well as the bands that had already gone. Tugger's band, Toms of Duty, had gone first, singing the Elvis Presley hit "Blue Suede Shoes." Confused Flower Beetle Epiphany was the last band to go. Once the Sunshine Girls- composed of Etcetera, Victoria, Rumpleteazer, and Cassandra- had finished playing "Here Comes the Sun," Electra began checking their sound system. The four musicians got in place when Etcie and her band had received their scores.

"You are Confused Flower Beetle Epiphany?" Jellylorum asked, looking at her paper.

"Yes, ma'am," Misto replied.

"And your members are Mistoffelees Ingannare, Jemima Accendere, and Coricopat and Tantomile Jones?"

"Yes, ma'am,"

"What will you be playing, Mr. Mistoffelees?"

"We're playing 'No Man's Land,' by Billy Joel."

"You may begin." Misto nodded, stepped back, and allowed Coricopat to step forward to the mike.

"Dim the lights, Lecs!" the tom commanded. The lights dimmed, until all that could be seen of the four were black silhouettes. The guitar and drums kicked in just before Corico started singing.

"_I've seen those big machines come rolling through the quiet pines," _he began, his voice deeper than normal.

"_Blue suits and bankers with their Volvos and their valentines,_

_Give us this day our daily discount outlet merchandise!_

_Raise up a multiplex, and we will make a sacrifice!_

_Now we're gonna get the big business," _The lights began to grow brighter, though they were still dim.

"_Now we're gonna get the real thing,_

_Everybody's all excited about it!" _The other three sang in harmony with him. They had worked hard at it.

"_Who remembers when it all began_

_Out here, in no man's land?_

_Before they passed the master plan_

_Out here, in no man's land._

_Low supply, and high demand,_

_Here in no man's land!" _Everyone was watching them in silence. Nobody had thought they would be this good.

"_There ain't much work out here in our consumer power base,_

_No major industry- just miles and miles of parking space." _Coricopat swept his arm out to indicate just how much parking there was.

"_This morning's paper said our neighbor's in a cocaine bust._

_Lots more to read about Lolita and suburban lust!_

_Now we're gonna get the whole story,_

_Now we're gonna be in prime time!_

_Everybody's all excited about it!"_

"_Who remembers when it all began?" _the four sang.

"_Out here, in no man's land?_

_We've just begun to understand,_

_Out here, in no man's land._

_Low supply, and high demand,_

_Here in no man's land!" _Coricopat sang by himself yet again, gazing heavenwards with a pleading expression.

"_I see these children with their boredom and their vacant stares._

_God help us all if we're to blame for their unanswered prayers!_

_They roll the sidewalks up- at night, this place goes underground._

_Thanks to the condo kings, there's cable now in Zombietown!_

_Now we're gonna get the closed circuit,_

_Now we're gonna get the Top 40,_

_Now we're gonna get the sports franchise,_

_Now we're gonna get the major attractions!" _They joined their voices together for one last chorus.

"_Who remembers when it all began_

_Out here, in no man's land?_

_Before the whole world was in our hands_

_Out here, in no man's land._

_Before the banners and the marching bands_

_Out here, in no man's land._

_Low supply, and high demand,_

_Here in no man's land!" _Jemima went into a final drum roll, while Misto slid his hands over the strings in an impressive solo. Coricopat scream-sang the last line a few more times, decrescendo-ing, like they had practiced. Even Tantomile had an impromptu bass solo-type thing.

Once the closing note had been hit, they bowed to a clapping audience, Coricopat breathing heavily. (He had been energetically gesturing and acting while singing. It was an exhausting business.)

"It is quite clear to all of us that you four have incredible musical talent," Jellylorum complimented. "Good work. Mistoffelees, I am especially impressed with you learning the guitar bit in just two weeks." Gus stayed silent for a moment, pondering over what to say.

"Your stage presence was excellent," the old cat commended. "You kept the whole audience hooked. You all did an excellent job, in my opinion." Finally, the last judge- Bombalurina. The beautiful queen was to judge them on style.

"I think your clothes suited the song," she stated. "However, I feel that you could have done something more. Try changing it up next time. Do something funky. Surprise me." They nodded- Coricopat and Misto perhaps a _tad_ more enthusiastically than the girls- and went to sit on the bleachers and receive the final decision.

After going to a separate room and conferring, the judges reached their decision.

"Rumpus Toms, consisting of Tumblebrutus, Pouncival, Plato, and Admetus, you will not be playing in two weeks," Jelly announced. "I'm sorry."

**~*~**

Once they went outside, Misto offered his condolences to Tumble.

"I'm sorry you guys didn't make it through," the tuxedoed tom stated. Jemima and Tantomile nodded, and gave Coricopat a sharp nudge in the ribs.

"Yeah, alright, I'm sorry," the striped tom sighed. He smiled crookedly at Tumble, to let him know that he really _was_ sorry. Tumble grinned back at him.

"You guys did a good job," he said. "You deserved to make it. And I'll definitely root for you next time." He turned to his former bandmates. "Let's go, toms. Bye, Misto. I'll see you guys around."

Tantomile stared at her brother once the Rumpus Toms were out of earshot.

"Wow, Cori, I didn't expect you to be so… almost-nice to Tumble!" Coricopat shrugged.

"Just because Plato's a jerk doesn't mean that his friend is. Tumble's a good kid." Seemingly unnerved by his sudden display of compassion, he tried to cover it up. "So, do you guys wanna go get some ice cream tomorrow? To celebrate?"

"I was about to ask the same thing," Jemima replied, beaming. A dark car pulled up to the curb and honked. "Oh, that's my dad. Bye, guys! See ya tomorrow!"

**~*~**

**Yay!! They made it through! Poor Tumble, though. Sorry to any Plato-lovers; he just creeps me out with his eyebrows and aloofness… ahem! REVIEW!**

**P.S. I forgot that FF didn't allow people to post "websites" when I updated the last chapter, so CFBE's emails are:**

**Misto- Little Magician at Jellicle Cats dot net. (fictional site… I think…)**

**Cori- Storm In the Air at Jellicle Cats dot net.**

**Tanto- Psychic Cat at Jellicle Cats dot net.**

**Lecs- Electric Queen at Jellicle Cats dot net.**

**Jemmie- Moonlight Dancer at Jellicle Cats dot net.**

**All the emails are also made up. So don't send stuff to them, just in case there's people with those addresses, and they suddenly receive emails saying stuff like,**

"**Hey Jemima! I loved your drumming in No Man's Land, it rocked! I'm so glad you made it through! Keep on rockin'!" So… ya. Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Before I begin this chapter, I would like to put in the speech I was thinking of today. I apologize for not putting this in the last chapter- I was too busy thinking, "OMG! I POSTED THE WRONG THING!!"**

**Ahem. I would like to thank my wonderful reviewers, Ljuba and Roselna, for alerting me to the problem. I was half-asleep when I posted, and made a mistake. Because you alerted me to the problem, I thought, "Hm… maybe I should check this out, just in case…" And it turns out that it was Chapter 2 of Ghost Whispers.**

**Oops is an understatement here.**

**Thank you once again for alerting me to the problem. I hope you enjoy this chapter, although it's a bit of a filler chapter. **

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 2. (The proper one. Not the mistake one.)**

**~*~**

"Boy!" The commanding voice of Bustopher Jones snapped Coricopat out of his daydream.

"Yes, Father?"

"I am going to be holding an event here tomorrow to celebrate both my election to the Board of Councilors, and that little competition Junkyard Recordings is holding. I would like you and your sister to help Szobalány prepare the food." Coricopat sighed. He _hated_ kitchen duty, although Szobalány, their Hungarian maid, was always fun to be around.

"Yes, Father."

"I am inviting the other prominent Councilors, and the children from the district schools. I want you to be on your best behavior."

"So I'm not allowed to dump the fish into the swimming pool and pretend that I'm snorkeling in Florida again?"

"No, you are not. That incident was an acute embarrassment to me."

"It probably wouldn't have been as embarrassing if the mayor hadn't tripped and fell onto a moray eel. How was I supposed to know it would bite part of his ear off?" Bustopher frowned at him.

"Perhaps if you had done some research on moray eels-"

"Perhaps you shouldn't have bought a moray in the first place!" Corico argued. "Besides, I _did_ do research on them! They're perfectly harmless unless aggravated! Therefore, it was the mayor's fault-"

"He wouldn't have fallen on an eel if you hadn't placed it there at all!" Bustopher roared. "Go! Now! Kitchen duty!" Grumbling slightly, Coricopat exited to go help cook food.

**~*~**

The Jones estate was frequently described as large and ostentatious. Jemima thought that these two words suited it perfectly when she arrived for the party the next day.

"Hello, Madame; may I take your coat?" Coricopat asked in a posh British accent as she walked through the door.

"I don't have a coat, silly," she giggled. "It's spring."

"You must be mistaken, Madame," the tom asked, still using his best Queen's English accent, "My name is not silly; it is Jeeves. And the Master instructed for me to take beautiful young ladies coats, and you certainly fit the bill." He winked at her, and turned to an important politician who was walking through the door.

"Hello, Madame; may I take your coat?" The large, imposing man glared at him. Coricopat smiled innocently.

"He was like this last time, too," Tantomile whispered to her. The female twin was dressed in a slightly gothic-looking black gown. Her hair was tied back to disguise her emo-ish hairstyle.

"What did he do?" Jemima inquired, curious.

"He dumped Father's exotic fish tank into the pool, put on a snorkel and flippers, and pretended to go snorkeling."

"That must have been funny," Jemima said.

"It was- until the mayor tripped onto an eel, and had some of his ear bitten off."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. The worst part was when my beloved brother told him that he could win a Vincent van Gogh look-alike contest now. The mayor wasn't impressed, to say the least."

"I could imagine. Are the others here yet?"

"Electra is looking at the library, and Misto hasn't arrived yet. You might be interested in the fish tank through here…" Jemima was led into a large room. About half of the room was filled with a gigantic fish tank.

"Tanto, that isn't a fish tank!" Jemima exclaimed. "That's a private aquarium!" Tantomile laughed.

"I know," she replied. "We tried to get Father to buy a great white and a cage so we could go shark diving. He didn't find it funny."

**~*~**

As the party wore on into the night, Jemima had to listen to several politicians make big, fancy-sounding speeches.

"And now, I would like to thank Junkyard Recordings for offering my precious children the chance to win a college scholarship," Bustopher announced, pulling his two "precious children" into a bone-crushing, obviously fake, hug.

"_Save me," _Corico mouthed. Jemima tried not to giggle.

"And, just to prove how far they've come musically, I've asked them to perform a song for us with their little friends."

This, apparently, was a surprise to the twins. However, after making sure that it was okay with CFBE, they complied.

"Cori… what are you doing?" Electra asked. Coricopat was over by the pool talking to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer.

"Discussing copyright issues," he stated simply. "Do you know how to play Jerrie and Teazer's song?" They nodded.

"Good," the tom stated. "Tanto, come with me. You guys can start whenever you're ready."

Confused, Jemima gave a count-off, and they started to play Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer's song. Corico and Tanto crept onto stage when they were supposed to, and began to sing.

"_Coricopat and Tantomile_

_We're a notorious couple of cats!_

_As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians,_

_Tight-rope walkers and acrobats!_

_We have an extensive reputation,_

_We make our home on the Jones estate,_

_But that's merely our center of…" _They tried to quickly think of a suitable word. _"Recreation,_

_And we continually make everyone late!_

_If the third-floor window was found ajar,_

_Or the whole house looked like a field of war,_

_If several tiles came loose from the roof,_

_Which presently ceased to be waterproof,_

_If Plato has on his nose a welt," _The cat in question rubbed his sore nose.

"_Or someone stole Tugger's infamous belt,_

_Or after supper, Mayor van Deer-" _That was the mayor, judging from the title.

"_Is suddenly missing a piece of his ear." _The mayor scowled at them. The duo smiled.

"_Then the family would say- 'It's that horrible cat!'_

_It was Coricopat or Tantomile-_

_But it most likely was Coricopat!" _Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were trying not to laugh at the improvised version of their song… especially because the other twins were still wearing their formal outfits while singing and dancing (hence the reason why Tanto wasn't doing cartwheels.)

"_Coricopat and Tantomile_

_Have an unusual gift of the gab._

_We're absolutely terrible cat burglars,_

_And remarkably bad at smash-and-grab._

_We make our home on the Jones estate_

_We have no regular occupation_

_We're suspicious fellows who like to engage_

_A scowling policeman in conversation!_

_When the Joneses assembled for Sunday dinner,_

_Their minds made up that they won't get thinner,_

_On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens,_

_Szobalány'd appear from behind the scenes,_

_And say in a voice trying not to laugh,_

'_I would like to say, on behalf of the staff,_

_The food was somehow stuffed in a vat.'_

_And the family would say, 'It's that horrible cat!_

_It was Coricopat or Tantomile!'_

_But most of the time, they left it at that._

_Coricopat and Tantomile_

_Have a terrible way of fighting a lot._

_And some of the time you would say it was strange,_

_When we cooperated to stuff you in a pot." _One of the butlers winced at the memory.

"_We go through the school like a hurricane,_

_And no sober teacher could take his oath._

'_Was it Coricopat or Tantomile?'_

_Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?_

_And when you heard a pool-side SPLASH!_

_And down came the mayor with a loud crash._

_Or from the school you heard a loud scream-_

_Someone was hurt by the annoying team!" _The two looked at each other.

"We didn't mean to break her leg! I promise!"

"_Then the family would say, 'Now, which was which cat?'_

_It was Coricopat or Tantomile-_

_But it most likely was Coricopat!"_ They finished with a bow. Nobody clapped, although most of the kids wanted to.

"What?" Corico asked. "Was it not funny enough?" Bustopher Jones' face turned from the purplish color it had been throughout the song into a crimson red.

"Out," he growled.

"But Father, you didn't specify what you wanted us to sing-"

"Get out!" They frowned and exited the area.

_~*~_

"Cori? Tanto?" Jemima asked, looking around. The three other members of Confused Flower Beetle Epiphany had been searching for the twins since their song ended.

"Tanto's inside, reading," a voice whispered. Jemima looked up into a tree, where Cori- having changed into more comfortable clothes- was sitting on a sturdy bough. He sighed.

"No matter what I do to try and please him, it never works. I've just stopped trying."

"Who?"

"Father."

"Oh. I don't think anyone but himself pleases him, actually," Misto offered.

"Wow, thanks a lot," Corico drawled sarcastically. "That makes me feel so much better." He seemed to calm down a bit. "The only reason he adopted us in the first place was for the improved PR."

"You're adopted?" Electra asked.

"Yeah. Wasn't it obvious? I mean, Misto looks more like him than I do!"

"Hey!" the Conjuring Cat complained.

"Not that I'm saying you're fat or anything," Coricopat amended. "But it's true."

"So… where are you originally from?" Jemima inquired.

"Well, look at the time!" Cori said hurriedly, glancing at his wrist. "I think the party's over. Your parents will be looking for you. Are we still on for practice tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Misto agreed. "Although we can't really practice yet, because we haven't thought of a song."

"True. Well, bye guys!" Coricopat gave an overly-cheerful wave, and Jemima, slightly confused by his odd behavior, decided to leave it until the next day. After all, her parents _were_ looking for her.

**~*~**

**As I said, this one's kinda filler-ish. But it'll kinda be the basis for some character-building in a few chapters… plus, I just really wanted to put in Cori and Tanto's version of "Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer." Did you like it? Did you not? Review! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi, people! I'm back! Since this author's note is already long, I will say that: In England, I got to see both the Lion King, Jersey Boys, AAAND Phantom of the Opera! All of them were AWESOME.**

**I have no idea how to write French accents… any tips? So for this chapter, just imagine that the OC queen is speaking with a French accent, 'kay? Oh, and I've got a poll up on my profile. Read my profile first, and then vote in the poll please, if you haven't yet. :D And, if I had to name this chapter, it would be:**

**In Which Mistoffelees Is Angry, Coricopat Is Sad Because of Mistoffelees, We Learn What Aforementioned Psychic Tom Thinks of Himself, We Learn More About His Past and What He Likes To Do In His Spare Time (Asides From Playing Music.)**

**Jeeze, that was a long title… and, since FF apparently won't let me separate sections with that thing that I normally do, my separation thingy will now be…**

**~CFBE~**

**And, I have decided that if I know a quote that fits the plot (or some of the plot) of the chapter, I shall put it after the disclaimer.**

… **ONWARDS!**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapter. Oh, and I don't own Hair or the poem in this chapter.**

"_There are three rules in the old neighborhood. One: Don't lie to your mother. Two: Don't tell the truth to your wife. Three… well, every guy should know that."_

_- Nick Massi, Jersey Boys_

**~CFBE~**

Mistoffelees drove along Jellicle Boulevard, the other members of Confused Flower Beetle Epiphany in the car with him. They were headed to school after deciding to carpool and reduce pollution, as Jemima had recently become very fanatical about saving the environment.

"Why did that green light only let one car through?" Misto questioned angrily. "And then the light beyond it went green! Someone needs to coordinate those things properly!"

"Misto, it's just a traffic li- YAH!" Coricopat yelled, interrupted by someone forgetting to brake and bumping the back of the car. Misto, already in a bad mood, was further angered by this incident.

"What is your problem?" he yelled, sticking his head out the window. He stopped as the other driver looked out the window.

"I am so sorry," the queen apologized. "I am not used to these types of cars yet." Her bright green eyes were framed by midnight-black fur, and she had her hair tied back into a ponytail. Altogether, it made for a stunning appearance.

"Oh, erm, it's all right. Rush hour always makes me edgy," Misto admitted. "Where are you going?"

"School," the queen replied. "High School of the Everlasting Cat." Mistoffelees' face brightened.

"That's where we go! We can give you a tour after school," he offered.

"Actually, I can't," Coricopat told him. "I have detention."

"Again?"

"Yeah. But I was framed, I tell you! Framed!"

"Tell that to the judges, boy," Electra joked.

"All of the judges are biased. I think they hate me."

"I think you're just paranoid," Jemima commented.

"Maybe… but it's the M16's fault! They've been following my every move…" He smiled at Jemima. "Not really. But I had you worried for a second there, didn't I? You were _totally _concerned for my life."

"In your dreams."

"More like, 'In my nightmares!'" She reached over the seat to slap him.

"Oi! Misto, it's a green light again," Tanto alerted him. "Will you two lovebirds stop being all flirty with each other? It's making me sick."

"You're just jealous of me," Corico teased. "It's because I've got all the girls in school fawning over me, isn't it?" Electra snorted as Misto continued to drive.

"Why would I want all the girls in school to fawn over me? You're the one who's obsessed with 'Hair.'"

"It's a good musical. But what does that have anything to do with it?"

"… And your favorite character is Woof, who is a guy, and has a crush on Mick Jagger."

"Oh, shut up."

"And none of the girls in school fawn over you. It's just in your own, deluded sense of reality."

"… They're just playing hard to get."

**~CFBE~**

Once the school bell rang, Misto waited impatiently for his friends and the new queen.

"Hello!" the queen greeted happily as she walked up to him. "I never caught your name; what is it?"

"Uh, I-I'm Mistoffelees," Misto stammered. "But most people call me Misto." She smiled.

"It is a lovely name. I am Joli. Where are your friends?" she asked. Misto shrugged.

"It doesn't matter- I can still take you on a tour."

"That would be wonderful, Mistoffelees!"

**~CFBE~**

In the meantime, Coricopat was sitting in detention and waiting for the teacher to show up. He wasn't very surprised when his sister plopped into a seat next to him and only slightly surprised when Electra came in the room. However, when Jemima sat on his other side, he was shocked.

"Jemima? What are _you_ doing in detention?" he questioned.

"The math teacher put me in here for laughing in class," she replied glumly. "How long does it usually take for the teacher to get here?"

"An hour, at least," Coricopat replied nonchalantly. "That usually gives me enough time to escape. But I figured I might want to get all of those hours of detention I've missed out of the way before I go to college."

"How many hours have you racked up already?" Electra asked. He did a quick calculation.

"I think it's enough to last from now until I graduate. I'm lucky, though."

"How?"

"They've only caught me half of the time I'm doing something I shouldn't!"

"So… what do you want to do in the meantime?" Electra asked. Tantomile grinned.

"How about 'Truth or Dare?'"

**~CFBE~**

Misto walked Joli around the entire school, until they had come back to where they started.

"Oh, and over there's the detention hall," Misto gestured. He quickly walked over, looked into the window, and, blushing, turned away.

"I never thought that Cori and Jemima liked each other _that_ much…" he muttered, walking away with Joli.

**~CFBE~**

"Okay, guys, you still have five more seconds," Tantomile announced. Her brother glared at her as best as he could while making out with Jemima. Five seconds passed, and they fell away from each other.

"I told you that she was going to do something highly embarrassing to you once you had used up all your chickens," Corico panted, falling back in the seat.

"I just didn't think it would be that weird," Jemima said, blushing.

"Am I a bad kisser or something?" The queen blushed even more.

"Erm… no, it's just the idea of making out with _anyone_ for five minutes is kind of… strange… for me." He seemed appeased by her answer.

"Oh, and guys?" Tantomile added.

"Yeah?"

"I saw Misto looking through the window while you two were smooching. There will be questions later."

"Once I can breathe again, I'm going to kill you," Coricopat stated.

"I look forward to seeing you try."

**~CFBE~**

"What on earth was _that_ about?" Misto demanded as he saw the other four members of Confused Flower Beetle Epiphany walk out of the school building.

"What was what about?" Coricopat inquired innocently.

"The- the kissing Jemima thing!"

"Oh, _that_ that," Cori replied. "I thought you were talking about the other that!"

"What other that?"

"Y'know, that other thing that we… we… that!"

"I think we're thinking of two different things here."

"No, we're thinking of two different thats." Coricopat replied.

"Misto, the truth is…" Jemima began, interrupting Coricopat's ramble, "Tantomile dared us to do it."

"Explain."

"Well, we were playing Truth or Dare while in detention, and Tantomile dared us to make out for five minutes."

"Why didn't you chicken out of it?"

"I was out of chickens."

"Oh." Misto paused. "I can't come to practice tomorrow, by the way- I have a study date with Joli."

"And who is this _Joli_?" Corico asked, putting a French accent on "Joli."

"The queen that I showed around school today."

"Misto's got a girlfriend, Misto's got a girlfriend!" the other tom crowed.

"Shut up!" Mistoffelees snapped.

"Misto's got a girlfriend, Misto- OW!" Tantomile, pitying the tuxedoed tom, had whacked her brother on the head and sent him flying to the ground.

"What was that for?" Corico exclaimed.

"Acting like an idiot. I have a reputation to upkeep, and it won't help if you keep on doing that."

"Doing what?"

"That."

"What that?" His sister sighed. It would be a long day.

**~CFBE~**

Mistoffelees nervously rang on the doorbell of 6328 Tigris Avenue. A slim, black queen opened the door.

"Oh, hello, Mistoffelees!" Joli greeted happily. "Come in, come in! I already have my textbooks out upstairs." She led him upstairs, into her room. Posters of famous models stared down at him from the walls.

_How on earth am I supposed to study with all those things looking at me like that?_ Misto thought, eyeing the posters warily.

"Alright, how about we start with chemistry?" the queen questioned. He nodded.

"Chemistry's good."

_**Yeah, and maybe some chemistry will develop between you two today…**_ a voice that sounded suspiciously like Coricopat cackled in his head.

_Why has Coricopat suddenly joined my mental voices?_

_**You didn't think that those rumors of Tanto and I reading minds were just rumors, did you?**_

_Wait, so you __can__ read minds?_

_**I'll read your girlfriend's if you give me five dollars tomorrow.**_

"Mistoffelees? Is something wrong?" He snapped out of it.

"Um, no, nothing's wrong."

_I think I'll pass- and she isn't my girlfriend! Now get out of my head!_

_**But-**_

_OUT!_ Misto was relieved to feel the striped tom's presence leave his mind.

"Alright, where were we?"

**~CFBE~**

"Tanto!" Her head jerked up as her idiotic brother came rushing down the hall. "I just had a brilliant idea!"

"Call the newspapers! Call the army! Call the president!" Electra exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. "Cori's actually had a good idea!"

"We can open a booth at the Fall Fair! Mind reading for five dollars, you do tarot cards for ten bucks, and I'll read palms for seven dollars. Whaddya say?" He grinned enthusiastically at her as Electra slumped back onto the chair.

"Cancel the reporters, it was a false alarm…" Tantomile sighed.

"Cori, what have I said about us doing a psychic stall at various fairs?"

"That nobody would come."

"Exactly! We wouldn't get any business, it would be a waste of time-"

"I'd come," Jemima piped up. "If you really can read minds and do tarot and stuff." An expression of concentration passed on the tom's face.

"You're thinking of what song we should play… and you think we should play 'Bubbly.'" He made a face. "Why would you want to play that?" For the twenty-fourth time that month, he was whacked on the head by his twin.

"Stop being so insensitive," she stated simply.

"Y'know, maybe if you stopped hitting him so often, he would have enough brain cells to be sensitive," Electra offered.

"What brain cells?" Jemima hurried to stop the impending fight between the siblings.

"Okay, we won't do Bubbly, and that solves the question of whether or not you guys can actually read minds. Let's brainstorm on song ideas instead of fighting, okay?" They nodded enthusiastically.

"I think we should do Paint it Black," Tantomile suggested.

"For the first time, I actually agree with her," her brother said.

"I think we should do Aeroplane Over the Sea," Electra added.

"In my opinion, we should play Poker Face. But let's wait until Misto's around so that he can put in his two cents, before we make any decisions."

"Yeah, I guess so…"

**~CFBE~**

Misto yawned and glanced at his watch. How much time had passed?

"AAH!" he yelled.

"What is it, Mistoffelees?" Joli mumbled sleepily.

"It's… it's… two o' clock in the morning! We've been studying for eight hours! How on earth did we manage to study for eight hours? And tomorrow's a school day!" She blinked.

"Really? You can sleep here, if you would like… and tomorrow is a Saturday. I do not think we have school on Saturdays… do we?" He shook his head in a no.

"Right. You're right. Oh, Bast, I hope that my parents aren't mad…"

_**They'll be mad, all right, **_a voice grumbled inside his head.

_Coricopat! I thought I told you to stay OUT OF MY HEAD!_

_**I can't help it! Your bad vibes woke me up!**_

_Bad… vibes?_

_**Yeah… like feelings, auras, and all that jazz. Now shut up and go to sleep so I can do the same!**_

_Fine! Just get out of my head!_ Joli lead him to the couch where he could sleep, said good-night, and went back to her bedroom.

**~CFBE~**

He woke up the next morning with a sore back, as well as feeling thoroughly disgusted with himself. How in Heaviside could he allow himself to have such… vivid… dreams about Joli? He had only just met her!

_**You've gotta admit, she **_**is**_** a looker…**_

_SHUT UP ALREADY! _Misto screamed.

Coricopat shut up.

Composing himself slightly, Misto walked down the stairs to greet Joli, as the couch was located in the attic. But, as he walked down the stairs, what sight should greet his eyes but Joli kissing Plato?

"Wait a minute… didn't you only arrive the day before yesterday?" Misto interrupted, wondering when Plato had arrived at the house. Joli glanced at him.

"No, I arrived a month ago," she replied coyly. "But I was home-schooled until yesterday. I met Plato, and…"

"You're dating," the tuxedo tom stated flatly.

"Yeah," Plato agreed. Misto tried not to spit out his next words.

"I guess I'll be leaving, then. Goodbye, Joli. Goodbye, Plato."

**~CFBE~**

Four of the members of Confused Flower Beetle Epiphany were lounging around the breakfast table at Coricopat and Tantomile's house when Mistoffelees burst in.

"I can't believe her!" he roared angrily. Corico jumped up from his seat, having been startled awake. (He was the type to sleep in incredibly late… especially when he had been woken up in the night.)

"Believe who?" he mumbled blearily. "And why do you have to come and wake me up… again?" Misto ignored him.

"What's wrong?" Electra inquired.

"Joli! I had to spend the night over at her place- not like that, Cori, I slept on the couch- and when I woke up, she was downstairs kissing Plato!"

"Do you want to know how I deal with anger?" Jemima offered, carrying a tray of fresh coffee through and placing a mug in front of Cori, which he accepted gratefully.

"How?" Misto asked, still seething.

"I make tea! Or I bake… or cook… I find it relaxing."

"Do you want to know how _I_ deal with anger?" Cori suggested.

"Do enlighten us, Coricopat," the other tom snapped.

"I go and hit something… preferably the thing that upset me in the first place."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Or I rip up stuff… mainly paper. There's some upstairs, if you want." Misto, unspeaking stormed up the stairs to rip something apart. The others, not sure if it was going to help or not, followed him.

"Stupid… jerk… Plato… GAH!" He finished tearing the piece of paper in half, and tossed it into the fireplace before working on another piece. The striped tom looked over his shoulder to see what was being destroyed… and nearly shrieked in a desperate move to save the small portrait from being devoured by flames.

"No! Not that! Not any of the paintings! None!" Coricopat babbled, having had a sudden change in demeanor. He grabbed several other items to save them from the Wrath of Mr. Mistoffelees, and hurried up to the third floor.

"What was that about?" Jemima mused, worried. "I'll go up and check on him." Before anyone could stop her, she ran after the striped tom.

**~CFBE~**

"Cori?" she whispered, slipping into the room. He had dumped the items on the floor, with the torn sections of painting heaped in a small pile. The tom was shaking, supporting himself on a small desk.

"Sh…" Jemima murmured, rubbing his back in a soothing- almost motherly- gesture. She had no idea why the items were so important, but she was determined to find out. "It's okay, Cori… come and sit here with me," she implored, taking a cross-legged seat position on the floor. He slowly sat next to her, tears dripping down his cheeks. Jemima, pinpointing the cause of his concern, carefully re-arranged the scraps of canvas so they formed a picture- that of a silver-striped queen, not unlike the twins in appearance.

"See? It's okay, Cori, it's all better now. Alright?"

"No… it's not all better…" he sobbed. "She's still gone…" The small calico presumed that "she" was the queen in the detailed portrait.

"She's your mum." It was a statement.

"Yeah…"

"She's… she's dead, isn't she?"

"Yeah…" His voice choked. "It… it took me two years to paint that… I just couldn't bring myself to work on it for long before I'd break down and cry… but I wanted to remember what she looked like. My memories were fading, and I didn't want to forget…" Corico paused, and dried his face on the back of his hand. "I suppose that I should have moved on by now… it's been ten years, after all."

"Is… is there anything that I can do to help?" Jemima asked softly.

"Not really… but… you could go to the movies with me next Saturday?" He looked hopefully at her, some of his old mischief back, and she smiled, happy that he had stopped crying.

"Sure," she replied. "If you teach me how to play guitar."

"I will if you teach me how to make coffee."

"In fact, I could teach you how to cook… if you paint something for me," Jemima offered. He smiled- it was still a sad smile, but it was better than it had been a few minutes ago.

"What would you like me to paint for you?" She paused for a moment.

"Do you remember that poem that Gus made us read last month? The one by E. V. Rieu?"

"Of course," Coricopat replied. "It was the only poem I've actually liked!

'_Cobalt and umber and ultramarine,_

_Ivory black and emerald green-_

_What shall I paint to give pleasure to you?'"_

"'_Paint for me somebody utterly new.'"_ Jemima replied teasingly, glad that Operation Make Cori Feel Better was working.

"'_I have painted you tigers in crimson and white.'"_

"'_The colors were good and you painted alright.'"_

"'_I have painted the cook and a camel in blue,_

_And a panther in purple.'"_

"'_You painted them true._

_Now mix me a color that nobody knows,_

_And paint me a country where nobody goes,_

_And put in it people a little like you,_

_Watching a unicorn drinking the dew.'" _Jemima finished the poem with a grin. Corico merely beamed and stated,

"As you wish." At that moment, the rest of the gang cam bursting in, wondering what had been taking their friends so long. Even Misto's anger was temporarily cooled down.

"Misto, I know of a way for you to relieve your anger that doesn't involve ripping up my artwork," Cori declared.

"What?" Tanto inquired.

"Singing! And I even know the perfect song…"

"Let me guess," Misto interrupted. "Norwegian Wood?"

"Norwegian Wood."

**~CFBE~**

**The poem is called "The Paint Box," by the poet that Jemima mentioned, and is one of my favorite poems. **** Also… I'm just wondering, has anyone reading this seen the Princess Bride? If not, you should go and see it. I alluded to it in one line of this chapter… and in case you haven't noticed, I'm one of those writers who enjoy torturing their favorite characters. Why? I have no clue. It's just fun to write, I guess… And be warned: This is not the end of the Great and Epically Angsty Tale of Coricopat and His Mother That Almost Made Me Want to Change the Genre Of the Fic to Tragedy/Angst… but it probably won't appear for the next few chapters.**

**More Reviews= Happier Me= Faster Update= Happier You= More Reviews!**


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